The Allegoric Hegemony

Nick McCallum (Ryan Kwanten) is a young surfer in Liquid Bridge, who’s afraid of big waves like the one that crippled his father, a former surfing champ.  Nick is offered the chance to surf competitively if he can overcome his fears.  Then he needs 30,000 dollars to keep his father’s garage open.   Then there’s something about drug smuggling being carried on by his agent and Farscape‘s Lani Tupu for which Nick gets blamed.  And then there’s his drug addicted buddy / surfing mentor (Jarrod Dean, also blond and scantilly clad) whose wife is hit by lightning.   And then there’s his encounter with his dad’s semi-mystical surfing buddy in prison.  And then there’s something about a secret cult of native islander rogue law enforcer types.  Well, anyway, Ryan takes his shirt off a lot.

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Jason has more problems with dead girlfriends.  While getting arrested, he tries to dispose of the vial of “V” he’s carrying by drinking it all at once, giving him a permanent woody.  Sookie and Bill go to the vamp bar Fangtasia, meeting Eric, Bill’s vampire honcho.  Meanwhile Tara rescues Jason from the cops, Jason’s attempts to “handle” things don’t give him relief so Tara eventually gets him to a doctor who wants to poke him, and not in a good way, to get his “problem” to subside.  Priapism, gotta love it.

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Sookie warns vampire Bill (Stephen Moyer) just in time as he prepares to snack on a boy-toy / fang-banger (Nicholas Gonzalez) with infected blood.  Meanwhile, Jason (Ryan Kwanten) escapes from his bed time bonds and frolics with his girlfriend only to “peter out” when he starts imagining the vampire he saw with his other girl.  Turning to Lafayette (Nelsan Ellis) for a chemical solution to his problem, a cashless Jason must dance in his underwear for Lafayette’s web cam.  Sam Merlotte (Sam Trammell) and Tara try to ward off their loneliness with a “just friends” roll in the hay.

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Bill uses his vampire blood  to heal Sookie after she takes a beating for having helped him.  Meanwhile, Jason gets accused of murder, then let’s yet another girlfriend tie him to her bed.

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Based on the Southern Vampire Mysteries novels by Charlaine Harris, the series follows the adventures of Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), a telepathic waitress in Louisiana. When the Japanese develop artificial blood, the vampires “come out of the coffin” and join human society, much to the humans dismay. One night a vampire named Bill (Stephen Moyer) walks into the bar where Sookie works and she’s instantly attracted to him since he’s the first person she’s met whose thoughts she can’t hear.

Sookie ends up saving Bill from some “vampire drainers” who want his blood to sell as a drug. Meanwhile, Sookie’s brother Jason (Ryan Kwanten) is off cavorting with his girl of the moment.

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