The Allegoric Hegemony

Chris Evans takes a turn as the red, white, and blue Avenger in Captain America.  In World War II, scrawny kid Steve Rogers is classified 4F, but ends up in an experimental super soldier program that bulks him up and turns him super strong so he can fight Nazis in the form of his nemesis the Red Skull.

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Cellular opens with a shirtless Chris Evans.  Always a good start.  Not a bad movie all in all as Chris races about trying to help a woman who could only call his cell phone, of all the phones she could have reached.  Terrible rumor going around that Evans’ agent wants him to cut back on the shirtless stuff.

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London (2005) seems to revolve around Chris Evans and Jason Statham getting high and drunk in someone’s bathroom.  Not quite as much fun as it sounds as Evan’s character obsesses over his ex-girlfriend and snorts more and more coke and downs bottles of booze.  At least he gets his shirt off in the many flashbacks.

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Chris Evans (the Human Torch from the Fantastic Four movie) shows off shirtless (and pantsless) to a girl he’s trying to seduce inNot Another Teen Movie (2001) a spoof of all the teen movies that ever were.

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Various shots of Chris Evans found around.

Chris Evans, the Human Torch, in the Fantastic Four movie. . . .

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Chris Evans is back as Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, in Fantastic Four:  Rise of the Silver Surfer.  The FF battles the Herald of Galactus for the future of the Earth.  Evans has a shorter shirtless scene this time around, but still makes for great super heroic eye candy.

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